Codependent Relationship: Early Signs and How to Prevent It
Relationships are an important component in an individual’s overall well being. Relationships give personal support, help in psychological and emotional growth, and are seen to create an impact on one’s physical health.
There is no greater feeling than loving a person, and knowing that they love you back. That is why it is easy for people in romantic relationships to be reliant on their significant other one way or another. However, how will you know if you are becoming a little bit too dependent and obsessive of your partner?
What is Codependency?
Codependency is characterized by an obsessive psychological and emotional reliance on one’s boyfriend, fiancé/fiancée, or husband/wife. It is unhealthy and destructive because the person involved may feel like they can’t go on with their life, should the relationship suddenly comes to a halt. Worse thing is people in this kind of relationship deny when confronted with the reality that they are actually in a toxic affair.
Anatomy of a Codependent Relationship
Below, we have compiled five signs of codependency to help you recognize if you are in a codependent relationship:
Ending it is ending your life
If you feel that you cannot continue living if the relationship ends is clearly a codependent behavior. Codependent relationship is often confused with true love. However, love is when both of you are happy and fulfilled on your own, but choose to be in a relationship because you want to, not because you need to.
They are on top of your list
You were planning to visit your friends one afternoon, and they are so excited to see you. Yet, a few minutes later, your partner called and told you that you two are going somewhere else. You didn’t say no as you don’t want to cause an argument. And just as easy as that, you dropped everything like a hot potato.
Does this sound familiar to you? Canceling plans to accommodate your partner is a common codependency symptom. You change your plans without questions asked as you don’t want to upset your partner.
Insecurity of the relationship
You are in constant fear that your partner might leave you, or scared that he/she may find some reason to end the relationship. You avoid confrontation as much as possible to make them stay. If this sounds like you, chances are you need a professional relationship help.
You blame yourself for your partner’s feelings and thoughts
Children from dysfunctional families have greater chances of growing up with a codependent personality. When children see their parents argue, they will most likely think that it is because of them or what they did. This is the same way with a codependent relationship. One would often feel responsible for their partner’s actions. You feel like the other person’s thoughts and feelings are a reflection of you. However, you must realize that no one else is responsible for their emotions and thoughts, but themselves.
Physical, emotional, and psychological abuse
Codependent relationships are not only frustrating and lonely, but can also get abusive. How? Since you haven’t actually set a boundary in your relationship, you are welcoming any type of treatment coming from your partner. Remember that a person is abused because he/she allows it. If you are presently experiencing any type of abuse, this is the best time for you to assess your situation, and ponder if the relationship is worth all these trouble. Mind you, most of the time, it is not.