Ending a Relationship: What You Need to Do When Saying Good-Bye on Good Terms
What Went Wrong, Who’s to Blame, and What to Say Without Hurting
Where are all the butterflies? You ask. It seems like all the thrilling sensation left you. The once-exciting relationship is gone, and no matter how hard you keep on trying, it seems all is lost.
When to give up? When to end a relationship? What are the signs?
- You two have lost trust in each other. Trust is an important part in any relationship, especially romantic ones. Mutual distrust leads to feelings of jealousy, anger, and other negative feelings, which can potentially cause serious relationship problems.Second guessing every single thing your partner does? Call it quits.
- You realize you two have different values. If your values uncomfortably clash with your partner’s (and vice versa) and no compromises have been made, maybe it’s time to end things.
- You no longer plan anything. This may be your subconscious telling you that he/she isn’t going to stick around permanently. It’s probably time to end the relationship if this starts happening more often.
- The fun has fizzled out. A relationship’s fun and serious sides should be balanced.
- You imagine life with someone else in the picture. Although daydreaming is pretty normal, fantasizing yourself with someone else may spell trouble for you and your relationship.
- A future with your partner isn’t something you can’t see happening. If this keeps up, it’s time to get out and move on.
- The thought of marrying your partner is the last thing on your mind. Does the idea of settling down into a strong and serious commitment (like marriage) with your partner scare you? Does he give signs of not wanting to devote to a serious relationship?
- Your partner has become a total stranger. As Gotye puts it, “Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.”
Cue the sound of your heart shattering into pieces. This is the end of your relationship.
You’ve passed through the stage of identifying what went wrong, and you’ve already made peace with what’s left of you. Here comes the part where you have to break the news to your partner. It’s pretty daunting, and it doesn’t come without the pain.
How do you lessen the blow when biting the bullet on your romance?
- It’s time for a serious sit-down conversation. You don’t want to catch your partner off guard by dropping a bombshell in the middle of a romantic dinner date. Don’t even think about sending a break-up text unless you want to come across as a coward.
- Steer clear from places with plenty of potential distractions. It can get downright embarrassing if strangers were to see the two of you split up in a public setting. Do it somewhere private and neutral.
- Don’t end things in the heat of the moment. Breaking up is a decision that needs to be thought out clearly and carefully.
- Avoid playing the blame game. Do express that you regret how things have worked out.
- Drop the clichés. Just get straight to the point and don’t beat around the bush.
- And lastly, brace yourself. Learn to control your emotions. Get your point across.
Breaking up is one thing. Ending a relationship on a good note is another story. Although it’s not easy, it’s not impossible either, so you may want to put the Kleenex down first and save the waterworks.